‘I’ve got a gun’: Caitlyn Jenner opens up about harrowing suicidal thoughts to raise awareness of tragic level of trans suicides


The transgender reality star, Caitlyn Jenner who is rumoured to be engaged to Sophia Hutchins,has told a harrowing story about the time she came close to ending her life.


Before Jenner transitioned from Bruce to Caitlyn in 2015, she struggled her whole life with gender identity issues.

Caitlyn detailed her life-long struggle in her autobiography, The Secrets Of My Life, and revealed how she once thought about taking her own life.

Speaking to Channel 4 News , Caitlyn said: “One time in my life, I actually thought about it [suicide].

“I’ll never forget it. It was about six months before I came out, and I had a picture. I got, for years, before I actually – Diane Sawyer came out and told my story…

“For years, I had all sorts of issues with the tabloids and the paparazzis coming up with every story you could possibly come up with.

“They put my head on women’s bodies, they did this, I never talked to a soul. I would have four or five paparazzi cars following me everywhere I went taking pictures.”

She continued: “Well, I was in Beverly Hills and I came out a back entrance of a place and they got this picture of me getting into the car.

“And actually I just had my tracheal shaved. Early in the morning on a Sunday morning, I thought nobody was around. And I had a little bandage there.

“And that night, I didn’t see anybody. And that night I get a phone call from TMZ, saying ‘We have this picture, what are we going to do?’

“He goes, ‘So, this is the beginning of transition’. And on and on and on.

“You know, Harvey [Levin]’s going… And I say, ‘Harvey, don’t even talk about this. It’s none of your business and please, when you do stuff like that it affects people’s lives’.

“And that night, I knew that that picture was coming out. And that night, I remember I couldn’t sleep. And I’m walking up and down the halls in my house, all by myself. And I’m thinking to myself, ‘You know what? I’ve got a gun in the other room. I could go in, use it, no more pain, move on.’

“It seemed like the easy way out. And then, obviously I didn’t go it. I tried to get some sleep. The next day I get up and I went for a walk and I’m walking through this field all by my little lonesome out in the woods.

“And I’m walking through this field and I’m thinking to myself, ‘Wasn’t that like the stupidest thing you could possible do?’

“And that is silence your voice. Why don’t you look at this thing a little bit differently? What don’t you open up your voice? Why don’t you tell your story?

“That was kind of my low-point in life. And from then on, I never thought about it again.”




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