Jared Kushner went to Iraq earlier this week and looked like an absolute tool doing so. His visit sparked a flurry of online discussion this past week. His tiny body armor, worn over a blazer, was a particularly easy target for hilarious mockery.
Task & Purpose, a news and culture website for U.S. military veterans, took the joke a step further and created an absolutely HYSTERICAL “picture book.” Think Dick and Jane, but for the Trump era.
“This is Jared,” it begins. “Jared’s never been to war before. But his father-in-law, a very busy man, sent Jared to the war to see how it’s going!”
The story describes Trump-appointed great white savior Kushner’s meeting with Gen. Joseph Dunford, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, using pictures from the latter’s Flickr account.
One day, Joe had a question for Jared. “Would you like to see the war?” Joe asked.
“Golly, would I!” Jared said.
The children’s book tone continues throughout the hilarious piece, although moments where author Adam Weinstein veers from it to deliver especially sick burns make it really stand out:
Also in 2005, Jared’s dad, Mr. Kushner, was sent to federal prison for tax fraud and campaign finance fraud, after Mr. Kushner “apologized to his sister for hiring a prostitute to seduce her husband, who was cooperating in a federal investigation against him, and then sending her a videotape of the encounter.”
Jared had to grow up really fast — just like the soldiers in the war!
You can read the whole thing here.